Ally Carter's New (TV) Year's Resolutions
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No. There's no need to consult your calendars. I'm not referring to 2006. I'm referring to the new year that doesn't make a person think about life and everything they haven't done. I'm talking about the new year that doesn't lead to two days of dieting and non-stop Bally's gym commercials on TV. With this year, you won't find yourself writing the wrong date on your checks.
That's right. I'm talking about the new year that really matters—the start of the new TV season.
In honor of this, my favorite time of year, I've done two things. First, I got TiVo—a purchase I'm told will change my life. And second, I made a list of things to do, because unlike ordinary New Year's resolutions, I might actually keep these.
* * *
* I will tell everyone I meet about Veronica Mars! It's not teeny-bopper TV, people. It's laugh-out-loud funny, jaw-on-floor shocking, and pee-your-pants suspenseful television all wrapped up in a tangy sweet wrapper. Seriously. It's the whole reason I got TiVo (and for a girl who's so cheap she reuses bacon grease—that's saying something!).
* I will not channel surf. If nothing good is on TV, I will read a book, or write a book, or clean out my refrigerator (or watch something I have on TiVo).
* I will not watch all ten hours of the Band of Brothers miniseries every time it's on even though I know they aren't making men like that anymore, so a girl should really enjoy them while she can (but a girl should also get some writing done so that she can pay for her TiVo).
* I will not get sucked into the drama that is 24. Am I the only person who thinks this great show would be a lot better if it were 20 or 18? It's just too stressful, which is why every year I say I'm not starting another season. But, this year, I'm sticking to it.
* I will not petition the producers of Desperate Housewives to make Eva Longoria and Teri Hatcher eat something (even though somebody should).
* I will, however, petition the producers of LOST to have more episodes where Sawyer walks around with his shirt off.
* Comedy Central and Jon Stewart will not be my only news source.
* I will use the miracle-that-is-TiVo to do what television executives are obviously too dim-witted to do—balance out the week. No more lumping all the good stuff on Tuesday through Thursday and having absolutely nothing to watch come the weekend.
* I will refrain from judging shows until I've watched them, less I commit another horrible offense like the four years I spent thinking Buffy the Vampire Slayer couldn't possibly be any good.
* I will remain strictly pro-Lorelai in the Lorelai/Rory standoff that promises to make this the best year of Gilmore Girls ever!
And the last thing I swear to do this TV year...
* I will only use my TiVo for good and not evil (meaning I will use it to watch the same amount of TV in less time and not just as an excuse to watch more TV).
No. There's no need to consult your calendars. I'm not referring to 2006. I'm referring to the new year that doesn't make a person think about life and everything they haven't done. I'm talking about the new year that doesn't lead to two days of dieting and non-stop Bally's gym commercials on TV. With this year, you won't find yourself writing the wrong date on your checks.
That's right. I'm talking about the new year that really matters—the start of the new TV season.
In honor of this, my favorite time of year, I've done two things. First, I got TiVo—a purchase I'm told will change my life. And second, I made a list of things to do, because unlike ordinary New Year's resolutions, I might actually keep these.
* * *
* I will tell everyone I meet about Veronica Mars! It's not teeny-bopper TV, people. It's laugh-out-loud funny, jaw-on-floor shocking, and pee-your-pants suspenseful television all wrapped up in a tangy sweet wrapper. Seriously. It's the whole reason I got TiVo (and for a girl who's so cheap she reuses bacon grease—that's saying something!).
* I will not channel surf. If nothing good is on TV, I will read a book, or write a book, or clean out my refrigerator (or watch something I have on TiVo).
* I will not watch all ten hours of the Band of Brothers miniseries every time it's on even though I know they aren't making men like that anymore, so a girl should really enjoy them while she can (but a girl should also get some writing done so that she can pay for her TiVo).
* I will not get sucked into the drama that is 24. Am I the only person who thinks this great show would be a lot better if it were 20 or 18? It's just too stressful, which is why every year I say I'm not starting another season. But, this year, I'm sticking to it.
* I will not petition the producers of Desperate Housewives to make Eva Longoria and Teri Hatcher eat something (even though somebody should).
* I will, however, petition the producers of LOST to have more episodes where Sawyer walks around with his shirt off.
* Comedy Central and Jon Stewart will not be my only news source.
* I will use the miracle-that-is-TiVo to do what television executives are obviously too dim-witted to do—balance out the week. No more lumping all the good stuff on Tuesday through Thursday and having absolutely nothing to watch come the weekend.
* I will refrain from judging shows until I've watched them, less I commit another horrible offense like the four years I spent thinking Buffy the Vampire Slayer couldn't possibly be any good.
* I will remain strictly pro-Lorelai in the Lorelai/Rory standoff that promises to make this the best year of Gilmore Girls ever!
And the last thing I swear to do this TV year...
* I will only use my TiVo for good and not evil (meaning I will use it to watch the same amount of TV in less time and not just as an excuse to watch more TV).
posted by Ally Carter at Sunday, October 02, 2005
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