Olympics, part II

The Olympics, part II

Up until a few minutes ago, I thought I'd found an answer to my Olympic dilemma: Snowboard Cross.

Not only do the athletes in this event wear the bulky outfits, but also, they go as a big group so they don't flash anyone’s weight up on the screen! Oh my gosh, I thought! Vancouver here I come.

But then the women's final went ugly and one of the girls had to be dragged away in that little orange sled thing. Little orange sleds...not so much for me.

Curling is obviously a valid choice. After all, I have a lot of curling experience—with both irons and hot rollers. In fact, my hair is even a little bit naturally curly, which has got to give me an advantage. I even have experience with curling’s sub-events—back-combing and Aqua-Netting, so this is probably my best shot at a medal.

Aside from Curling, the event where I have the most experience is probably either Luge or the Skeleton (you know, those ones where people go down the big ice slide) since one time when I was growing up we had an unusually big snowfall, and all of my family decided to go sledding, except…well…we didn’t have any sleds. Also, we didn’t have any hills. What we did have was a half-constructed turnpike overpass and cookie sheets.

If it weren’t for the little skin-tight outfits, I would be all over this Luge thing! After all, once you’ve gone head-first down a turnpike overpass on a cookie sheet, pretty much anything is possible.

--Ally