Ally's Oscar Predictions

You know I’ve had a crazy, crazy year with tons of very tight deadlines, so I’ve only seen a couple of the Oscar-nominated films and I can’t really predict who could or should take home the statues Sunday night. So, in that case, I'll just confine my predictions to the really important stuff:

I predict Jon Stewart will be so incredibly good that people will be saying “who’s Billy Crystal?” by the end of the night.

I predict there will soon be enormous demand for a Felicity Huffman Upper Arm Workout exercise video (which I will waste no time in ordering.)

I predict Rachel Weisz will go into labor during the “these people died this year” tribute montage (I know this is a long shot, but how many points would it be worth if I was right?!?!)

I predict Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon will be the absolute cutest couple ever.

I predict Heath Ledger will wear a very questionable tuxedo.

I predict Crash will win for best Original Screenplay and Brokeback Mountain will win for Screenplay Adaptation.

I predict George Clooney will win for something and half the women in the audience will pass out from his overall hotness.

I predict Keira Knightley will weigh less than an actual Oscar.

I predict red will be the new black and black will be the new blue and blue will the new red and everyone who’s anyone will be going strapless.

I predict Melissa Rivers’s lips will be on the verge of exploding all over the red carpet.

I predict that by the end of the night people still won’t know who David Strathairn is even though he’s been in half the movies I’ve seen in the last ten years.

I predict that even though Keanu Reeves is technically presenting an award at the Oscars everything he says will sound like “Ma’am, can you drive this bus?”

Any takers on any of these? Also, please feel free to comment with your own predictions.

--Ally