Everything I need to know about book reviews I learned from watching Pretty Woman.

Over the last year or so I’ve come to the opinion that writers are very private people who put themselves “out there” in a very public way, and perhaps no way is as anticipated, or as dreaded, as reviews.

They trickle in slowly, deliberately, and whether they’re from a big-name publication or a high school newspaper in another state, the author always holds her breath as she reads them.

Well, folks, it’s started.

I’d Tell You I Love You But Then I’d Have To Kill You received its first two reviews (that I know about) last week.

Jennifer Wardrip at TeensReadToo.com called it “… a wonderful, laugh-out-loud, action-adventure extravaganza. …you won't be able to put this book down once you start. A true winner… I definitely can't wait for a sequel!”

And Liz Burns from A Chair, A Fireplace, and A Tea Cozy said it’s “…a fun, action-packed adventure…set in a world that is a little bit Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a little bit Alias, and a little bit 007.”

Which begs the question: what is wrong with Liz and Jennifer?

Seriously, they must want something. A walk-on role in the movie (IF it ever gets made)? A nice little kickback from the folks at Hyperion? How about some of my mom’s world-famous cinnamon rolls?

There simply has to be something in it for them, right?

I’m a member of an online writers board where a NY Times Bestseller frequently posts, and she has said that she doesn’t read reviews because, if you read the good ones, you should also read the bad ones—Yen and Yang and all that. And I think it’s true, but my problem with that is that I only believe the bad ones.

(Maybe Liz and Jennifer think I’m related to Jimmy Carter...)

Every time I even think about reviews anymore I remember that scene from Pretty Woman when he says, “You are a very bright, very special woman,” and she says, “The bad stuff is easier to believe.”

So there, that’s my philosophy on reviews: the bad stuff is easier to believe.

But in the meantime, thanks Liz and Jennifer. I’m hard at work on that sequel, so stay tuned!

(Oh, and if you email me your mailing addresses, I’ll see if I can’t get you some of those cinnamon rolls.)

--Ally

Next time on Ally's Diary (kinda like, "Next time on 24, or LOST, or whatever...get it?): starting next week I'm going to be posting parts of Chapter Two of Love You, Kill You, so check back soon!