Partners and Ghosts

In the last few weeks I’ve gotten the same question in many different forms. Sometimes it comes via email, and sometimes it comes from people who show up at signings and events, asking if they can speak to me, pulling me aside as if what they have to say is top secret.

But it’s never a secret. Never. I’ve heard it enough by now to know before the conversation starts that the puller has story that he wants me, the pullee, to write for him.

Should I feel honored? Probably. Do I? No. Not anymore.

Now, it just makes me mad.

Yeah, I said mad, because in asking for this favor (or presenting me with this opportunity, as they see it), the puller always explains that the reason they don’t write their story themselves is because I have connections and/or training they don’t have. In other words, I’m just lucky and they’re not.

Well, my agent was the first person I ever met with publishing connections and I met her by following the protocol for submitting new projects outlined on her website.

And how about all the “training” I received? Well, let me think. I never took creative writing, and I tested out of English I and English II at college, so the last English course I had was in high school. (How many pullers had high school English, do you think?)

So I get mad…eventually. While I’m in the presence of a puller, I smile and recommend books and try to encourage the person to tell their own story, but nine times out of ten, that person will just say that they really need a ghostwriter or a writing partner, and then they leave--usually before I actually give my presentation.

If they'd stayed and listened, they might have learned something. But that’s the thing: they don’t want to learn. They just want it to be as easy for them as they think it was for me.

Now, I also get a fair amount of email and questions from friends and strangers who are honestly interested in learning about the business and the craft. There’s a vast difference between asking for advice and guidance and trying to get someone else to do your work for you. So, these folks, I try to help.

Therefore, this is my attempt—feeble as it is—at answering the most difficult of these questions: How do you write a book?

1. Read a book. Seriously. Read hundreds of them if you can—in all genres and all types—until you figure out the type of book you want to write. If you’re now saying, “yeah, but I don’t have time to read a bunch of books,” then I have to say, “Then how are you going to find time to write one?”
2. Get some blank notebooks and pens or pencils or a laptop or a desktop or a whole bunch of old envelopes or a stack of notecards or brown paper grocery sacks or… Well, just get you something to write on.
3. Start writing.

Really, truly, I could stop now. Because what comes next has no formula—no recipe. There really is no answer, but here’s how I did (and do) it.

4. Write the words “Don’t get it right—get it written” on a piece of paper and hang it someplace where you’ll see it every day.
5. Figure out a story to tell. Some people will outline or “storyboard” the whole plot. Some people will fly by the seat of their pants. There is no wrong or right way, only the way that will work for you, and guess what? I can’t tell you what way that is. You will only learn by doing. So do.
6. Pick your main character(s) and a point of view.
7. Start writing. Make tons of mistakes—you’re supposed to. It’s expected.
8. Put your first draft in a drawer and don’t look at it for three months.
9. Pull the first draft out and read it in one sitting. Have a pen handy to make obvious notes, but don’t do anything but read.
10. Get a good night’s sleep.
11. Start to work on your second draft.
12. Repeat steps 8-11 until you can read it and be reasonably happy.
13. Get someone you trust to read it and get their opinions on what works and what doesn’t.
14. Rewrite again as many times as needed.
15. The final step is to be really proud--most people didn’t make it past the “read lots of book” step.

Sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it? Well, guess what: it is.

If you’ve made it through all of those steps and want to pursue having it published by a reputable, legitimate, publisher, click here and follow my instructions for “how do you get a book published.”

If you want more detail about the writing process, there are some very good books that talk about the craft. One is On Writing by Stephen King. The first craft book I ever owned was Screenplay by Syd Field. Almost any bookstore will have a few titles along these lines. Pick one up and read it while you’re in your reading phase—it’s not going to hurt.

Is writing something that can be taught? Are great writers born or made? I think the answer is both. Don’t tell me someone like Jonathan Lethem (author of the amazing, Motherless Brooklyn) isn’t talented. But also don’t tell me that he just rolled out of bed one day and threw that book together. It’s a masterpiece, and I know that it takes a great deal of effort to write something that reads that effortlessly.

The truth is that you will only learn to write by writing…by doing…so DO!