Snakes on a farm
I love movies--but a lot of people can say that, so I don't think it makes me special or anything. The fact that might set me apart is that I love going to the movies.
I'll see almost anything so long as the theater is clean and the Diet Coke is cold and I can escape inside someone else's imagination for ninety minutes or more.
But even then there are some movies that I will not see.
Case in point: Snakes on a Plane.
I don't care how cool Samuel L. Jackson is, I will not see this movie. In fact, I won't even look directly at any of the promotional materials for this movie because snakes give me nightmares.
You try killing a cottonmouth with a garden hoe when you're 12 and see how it affects you later in life.
Not to mention the time we came home from church to find a rattlesnake with 12 rattles and a button (ie...a big, freaking snake) spread out across my grandfather's front yard--having been killed in our hay meadow.
Or there was the time my mom found a snake in the canned goods cabinet. Sure, it was a harmless black snake, but it was in the kitchen cabinets for crying out loud! (We think it slithered in through the back door in search of someplace cool and dark--and it found it--right behind the home-canned pickles.)
And one time one of our dogs caught a big rattlesnake under our stock trailer and held it in his mouth, whipping it through the air like a rope, banging its head against the ground, until it died.
Or there was the time my dad was on the tractor and yelled for me to go get his gun (Yes, if you grow up on a farm, dads really do call for their daughters to go get their guns from time to time.) So, I got the gun, brought it to him, and he shot two cottonmouths--one of which was kinda plump--and then we cut it open and found it was full of dozens of baby cottonmouths.
So no. No thank you on the snake movie.
Once you've lived the live-action version of Snakes on a Farm, snakes on a plane really doesn't sound like a good way to spend an afternoon.
--Ally
ps...there was a time during my senior year at OSU (after I'd been accepted to Cornell) where I had seen every single movie playing in Stillwater, Oklahoma. Except, of course, Anaconda.
I'll see almost anything so long as the theater is clean and the Diet Coke is cold and I can escape inside someone else's imagination for ninety minutes or more.
But even then there are some movies that I will not see.
Case in point: Snakes on a Plane.
I don't care how cool Samuel L. Jackson is, I will not see this movie. In fact, I won't even look directly at any of the promotional materials for this movie because snakes give me nightmares.
You try killing a cottonmouth with a garden hoe when you're 12 and see how it affects you later in life.
Not to mention the time we came home from church to find a rattlesnake with 12 rattles and a button (ie...a big, freaking snake) spread out across my grandfather's front yard--having been killed in our hay meadow.
Or there was the time my mom found a snake in the canned goods cabinet. Sure, it was a harmless black snake, but it was in the kitchen cabinets for crying out loud! (We think it slithered in through the back door in search of someplace cool and dark--and it found it--right behind the home-canned pickles.)
And one time one of our dogs caught a big rattlesnake under our stock trailer and held it in his mouth, whipping it through the air like a rope, banging its head against the ground, until it died.
Or there was the time my dad was on the tractor and yelled for me to go get his gun (Yes, if you grow up on a farm, dads really do call for their daughters to go get their guns from time to time.) So, I got the gun, brought it to him, and he shot two cottonmouths--one of which was kinda plump--and then we cut it open and found it was full of dozens of baby cottonmouths.
So no. No thank you on the snake movie.
Once you've lived the live-action version of Snakes on a Farm, snakes on a plane really doesn't sound like a good way to spend an afternoon.
--Ally
ps...there was a time during my senior year at OSU (after I'd been accepted to Cornell) where I had seen every single movie playing in Stillwater, Oklahoma. Except, of course, Anaconda.
posted by Ally Carter at Wednesday, August 23, 2006
9 Comments:
I've never had to kill snakes and I used to never have a problem looking at snakes at thw zoo. But... there is no way on earth I'm going to see this movie. No way. No how. Uh-uh. As far as I'm concerned, the only good snake is a dead snake. *g*
I had to deal with snakes growing up in the country and we had one get inside our house once. The snake struck a relative.
So, I'll pass on the SOAP movie too. Shiver.
The only problem I have with this movie is that it looks stupid. Now if it were spiders on a plane, that would be another story.
Seriously, who could fit all of those cobras and other venomous snakes on a PLANE for crying out loud?
I was able to deal with the movie only with a high percentage of face-averting. I hate snakes, and have ever since I stumbled upon one in our family room on my way back to bed after getting a glass of water . It wasn't the only one...my dad told me long after we moved out that, after I discovered the one in the basement, he found a whole *shudder* nest of them outside my window (ranch-style house in the woods).
But the movie--so bad that it's good. Hilarious. I think you have to be able to appreciate so-bad-that-it's-goodness to enjoy it, though.
I am soooo laughing at the dad telling you to get the gun comment. Been there a time or two myself. All the same - I'll still be seeing the snake movie - I love b horror.
As you can image Ally, I identify with every single scenario you laid out. Frankly I'm a little scared now that you've reminded me of those memories... because I'm home alone. I hated it when family members brought the gigantic dead snake out for everyone to see - my imagination would go wild on what else is out there - YIKES!!
I'm always amazed at the posts that bring out the comments in people. I should have guessed...
Desta, you're so right. It's not enough just to KILL the big snake, you have to lay it out on the lawn for all to see. Or better yet, put it in the back of the truck and haul it to church, the feed store, the county fair, etc.
My dead snake is bigger than your dead snake.
I swear, we still have those 12 rattles and a button in my parents' house somewhere. I disctinctly remember having it fall out of cabinets and land in my hair at various times.
Oh, and I'm all about the imagination. I REFUSE to go into the hay meadow where we killed the big rattlesnake unless I'm on the four wheeler or wearing big boots and carrying a bigger stick.
No wonder I'm so weird.
-Ally
I'm the EXACT same way. I absolutely adore going to see movies and see more or less everything that comes out, but I refuse to even watch the trailer for Snakes on a Plane, because I have a huge snake phobia. Like I'm pretty sure it's a diagnosable psychological phobia. I can't even look at cartoon snakes.
When I was four, I had a really high fever and had to be rushed to the hospital- the fever was so high that I started hallucinated, and I saw snakes everywhere- literally, hundreds of them. I wouldn't let anyone near me because they all had snakes for hair. I still flash back to it in dreams.
So no Snakes on a Plane for me...
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