Cuss Day
People who know me--and even people who only know "blog me" (and...by the way...I think blog me is really darn close to flesh and blood me, just in case any of you were wondering, but I digress)--you all know that I don't cuss. Not really.
I'm frequently asked why my books are PG-rated--if it was a market-based decision or anything and the answer is no. I'm just a gosh, dang, darn kind of person.
Most of the time.
This afternoon, however, I remembered how in college, about once a semester, I would declare "cuss day" and on that day--that day alone--I would get all of my cussing out of my system (which is a tough thing to admit in a place that I know for a fact my mom, dad, and entire Sunday School class are bound to read).
But there you have it: cuss day.
It was liberating. It was soothing. It was something that sometimes just had to be done. (And, by the way, it's probably the only time I ever shocked ANYONE!)
But somehow I've gotten out of the habit. In fact, I haven't even thought of cuss days for many, many years. And then today happened.
6:45 a.m.: Get on bathroom scales.
"What the *##*@$*@! I GAINED a $*@*^@ing half pound! What the *#&#@^$?
7:30 a.m.: Try on hot pink blouse.
"Oh, *#*@! This *#*@ing shirt's got a *#*@&@ing stain on it!"
8:25 a.m.: Get stopped by train on the way to meeting.
"*!@#(%!"
8:35 a.m.: Train has now stopped moving and is covering the tracks--just sitting there.
"This *%^#@ing train is got to *#*@ the *#*@^#$*."
8:45 a.m.: Get to meeting and notice there are the really good donuts with the chocolate icing there!
"*@#*#. Scott bought donuts."
9:30: Donuts are still there--staring at me.
"I'd give my %*&*ing arm for one of those &*@(@ donuts!"
12:30: In car, driving home, looking at all the flood damage.
"Wow. That's a *%@$ of a lot of water."
2:20: Sneezing loudly.
"*$^%. I'm out of allergy medication."
5:10: Go shopping for a mattress for the guestroom.
"Seventeen hundred dollars for a &*$%#ing mattress!!?!?!"
6:30: Try to find something for supper that won't make me gain weight this week.
"&*#$&$*$&#*#&(*!!!!!"
7:00 Write this blog. Watch TV.
"I really should have these *$*%*#ing cuss days more often. I feel *#$*% *$$($ *$*$&## better."
Have a *#$$ of a *$*%&tastic night, everyone.
-Ally
I'm frequently asked why my books are PG-rated--if it was a market-based decision or anything and the answer is no. I'm just a gosh, dang, darn kind of person.
Most of the time.
This afternoon, however, I remembered how in college, about once a semester, I would declare "cuss day" and on that day--that day alone--I would get all of my cussing out of my system (which is a tough thing to admit in a place that I know for a fact my mom, dad, and entire Sunday School class are bound to read).
But there you have it: cuss day.
It was liberating. It was soothing. It was something that sometimes just had to be done. (And, by the way, it's probably the only time I ever shocked ANYONE!)
But somehow I've gotten out of the habit. In fact, I haven't even thought of cuss days for many, many years. And then today happened.
6:45 a.m.: Get on bathroom scales.
"What the *##*@$*@! I GAINED a $*@*^@ing half pound! What the *#&#@^$?
7:30 a.m.: Try on hot pink blouse.
"Oh, *#*@! This *#*@ing shirt's got a *#*@&@ing stain on it!"
8:25 a.m.: Get stopped by train on the way to meeting.
"*!@#(%!"
8:35 a.m.: Train has now stopped moving and is covering the tracks--just sitting there.
"This *%^#@ing train is got to *#*@ the *#*@^#$*."
8:45 a.m.: Get to meeting and notice there are the really good donuts with the chocolate icing there!
"*@#*#. Scott bought donuts."
9:30: Donuts are still there--staring at me.
"I'd give my %*&*ing arm for one of those &*@(@ donuts!"
12:30: In car, driving home, looking at all the flood damage.
"Wow. That's a *%@$ of a lot of water."
2:20: Sneezing loudly.
"*$^%. I'm out of allergy medication."
5:10: Go shopping for a mattress for the guestroom.
"Seventeen hundred dollars for a &*$%#ing mattress!!?!?!"
6:30: Try to find something for supper that won't make me gain weight this week.
"&*#$&$*$&#*#&(*!!!!!"
7:00 Write this blog. Watch TV.
"I really should have these *$*%*#ing cuss days more often. I feel *#$*% *$$($ *$*$&## better."
Have a *#$$ of a *$*%&tastic night, everyone.
-Ally
posted by Ally Carter at Monday, July 09, 2007
6 Comments:
You have no idea how hard I am laughing!
HILARIOUS!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHA...LOVE IT!!!
So, now that your WHOLE Sunday School class has commented (yes, all 3 of us)...and we unanimously agree that this is hysterical...I hope you don't feel quite as guilty! :]
HAHAHAHAHAHA that is hilarious
#$%& yeah!
Some days, you just gotta &$*%ing say it. =)
some days are just like that but you keep going Thanks for sharing :-)
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